wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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