But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
farters have to be the big spoon...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
