He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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