Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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