Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
