Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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