All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
