I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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