I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
