It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
