So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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