i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
