Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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