i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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