I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
