Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize