it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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