you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
