I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
