like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
