Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
