He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
