i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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