these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize