I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
