There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
