omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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