why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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