Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
