I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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