his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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