normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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