walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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