If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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