Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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