it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
