Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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