Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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