someone owes me an orgasm
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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