If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize