His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
