sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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