Non-Jews are for practice
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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