The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
