Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
