dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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