watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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