so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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