Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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