I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
