So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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