i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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