Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Your cock deserves a montage
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
