I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
