There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
