so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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