So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize