the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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