i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
4 words: hood of his car
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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