normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
