I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
