i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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