i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
