I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
