Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
