I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
