That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
