So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
