All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
