apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize