you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just tell him i said nine months
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
