He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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