can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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